Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
