from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
