Your face is a jimmy john
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
