what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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