guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
