Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
