One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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