go do what you do best...puke behind churches
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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