He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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