Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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