yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
When did we convert life to cartoon?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
