Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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