chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
