i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
