girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
