my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
