I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
