well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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