I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
