I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
