Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
