If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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