We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
True strength comes from lack of pants
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
