It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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