Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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