i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
