I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
