I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
