No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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