I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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