she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
