Kareoke will never be a sober sport
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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