Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
