That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
