So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
