y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
