The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
