How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
