I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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