I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
