One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
