I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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