**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Jerry, you need to find god
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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