please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
