I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How external is "for external use only"?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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