if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
where does the pee come out of this thing
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
