i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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