the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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