For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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