My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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