Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
