im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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