She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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