he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
