just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize