is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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