Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
