Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i think my cat just said my name.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
