my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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