I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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