That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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